


Do I look like a Disney Princess to You!?

by yourrain



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: 90s Movies, All 90s Love Songs Are Fair Game Y'all, Disney Songs, Falling In Love, Forgive Me, Idk what i'm doing, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, cheesy like a quesadilla, it'll be so random
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-22 00:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1569266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourrain/pseuds/yourrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the Miracles discover that Kagami is a hopeless romantic that may or may not have someone special in mind? And like the stupid cupids they are, they might fall in love themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So What If I Like Someone?

**Author's Note:**

> This is totally self-indulgent, there is no excuse.

Kagami sighs and the Miracles with the addition of Kuroko all have the same thought: "That's not fair!" 

What gave Kagami the right to be so doe-eyed, so angelic? 

"They're such...girls," Aomine says, slightly ruining the mood. He didn't even say it in a mocking manner, just in slight confusion. 

"Muro-chin is prettier than a lot of girls. Maybe he wants to become one." Murasakibara offers.  

"Yeah, I'll buy that one, but that doesn't explain _**Bakagami**_." 

"You know, it isn't so surprising," Kuroko concedes. "He's very innocent and air-headed, just like any girl our age. The same goes for Furihata-kun. I'll admit, I wouldn't have expected this from Himuro-kun. Usually, he _is_ the prince charming from what I've gathered."

"How unbecoming." Midorima scoffs. It was mostly aimed at Takao.

"Oh, Midorimacchi! Don't be so mean. They're just poor maidens in love." Kise sighs, letting his own hopeless romantic show. He gives the man a sideways glance. "God help Takao if you're his Prince Charming, though." He says "innocently," grin hidden behind his hand. 

"HUH?! Excuse you? I meet every romantic stereotype and then some! If this were Korea, I would be the love interest in every drama airing!"

"Well, regardless," Akashi begins. "We now know why they go missing once a week. Quiet, they're saying something."

-

"So do you like this one so far?" Kagami asks excitedly while passing some pizza to Takao. 

"Oh, yes." Furihata smiles, happy and giggly. "It's so cute! You know, I feel just like Thumbelina sometimes." He flushes and sucks up his strawberry milk so quickly he fears it'll come out of his nose. "Is that song clip you showed me coming up soon?"

"Yeah, right now actually. Are you gonna sing with it?" Kagami teases. 

"What!?" Furihata sputters, getting milk on his hands and shirt.

"Oh, sweet pea," Himuro laughs. " You match that milk now." He hands him a handkerchief. 

"C'mon, I'll sing with you!" Kagami encourages him with a grin. 

 "Oh, well...alright." Furihata lets out a breath, his hands clenching the handkerchief. 

"Yeah!" Takao gives a thumbs up. 

"Um, I-I know there's s-someone somewhere, someone who's sure to find me soon," Furi wants to stop, embarrassed at his stutter and pitchy-ness but they encourage him.

  
"After the rain goes there are rainbows. I'll find my rainbow soon~," Furihata's quieter now  but sounds much better this time.

  
"Soon it won't be just pretend soon a happy ending!" He belts out, just as genuine as the girl on the screen.

  
"Love, can you hear me? If you're near me sing your song sure and strong and soon!" Furihata sighs in relief, happy to have hit the notes perfectly in the end. 

 

"Oooh, nice." Takao compliments, looking nothing short of ridiculous with his hair pulled back with a headband and an avocado mask smeared so thickly across his face it's as if a fruit stand has vomited on him.

"Yeah, seriously. Your English is awesome! And your singing too! Are you in a choir or something?" Kagami asks with a tilted head. 

"Y-yeah. My mom is Buddhist-Christian actually, so I sing at church sometimes. And in the bath..." Furihata explains as he bites his lips shyly.

"For the last time stop doing that, or I won't put anymore scrub on them!" Himuro sighs and moves to the floor to apply more. "And do something about these claws. How can you even handle the ball with them like this?"

"It's not like I need smooth lips anyway." Furihata surrenders his hand anyway. "I don't ever kiss anyone but my mom and grandma on the cheek."

"Tcch! Being pretty is too much work! Tatsuya, let him alone, he's cute enough! Not everyone wants to be a drag queen like you and Kise."

Himuro pauses in filing Furihata's nails. "Pardon me, but I don't have to dye my hair or use fake lashes nor do I act like a wannabe valley girl." He seizes a single chip. "Like, Oh, mah Gawd this has like, a _million_ calories in it. I'm going to get _soooooo_ fat. I can barely take my birth control pills without having to run a mile afterwards, El-oh-el!" He imitates the accent and twirls nonexistent hair which puts the others in a fit of hysterical laughter even though Kagami is the only one who understands. "Thank god he doesn't tan. Now he just needs to touch up those roots."

-

"What!?" Kise shouts incredulously. "I do not use fake lashes! That-" Kuroko covers his mouth, muffling the curses. 

"Kise-kun, calm down. You're blinking so much you might take flight."

"So...you dye your hair?" 

Aomine is a bit frightened by the glare he gets. 

"My hair in naturally light, I just let it sun bleach every once in a while," Kise replies calmly. 

"Wooooow, really?" The judgment was evident. "So that's why you shave your-"

"Shut it, you perverted ganguro!"

"I told you I do not tan!" Aomine roars back. 

"And I don't dye my hair!" 

"You're all so superficial. If you took proper care of your bodies to begin with, then you would be naturally beautiful." Midorima gestures towards himself, which receives odd looks from all around. 

"Like who? Obviously, it ain't working for you." Aomine quips. 

"I happen to very attractive to people of all ages, genders, signs and blood-type, thank you!" 

"Did your horoscope tell you that?" Kise is equally unimpressed.

"Yes. I also have a fan-club." Midorima pushes up his glasses for emphasis. 

Kise yawns. " _A_ club? How cute. Try _at least_ one in **every** prefecture." 

Murasakibara and Kuroko shake their heads. Kuroko has to stifle his laughter as Murasakibara uses the colorful wrappers he's accumulated from his snacks as little puppets, mimicking their foolishness with his fingers. 

Akashi doesn't let it last long, though. "Barbie! Ken! Ulzzang! You're all pretty. Now be quiet, or you won't be so pretty when I'm finished with you. Are we clear?"

The three roll their eyes but stop. 

-

"So who do you spend all your time getting pretty for, huh?" Takao asks as Himuro helps him clean his face. 

"Oh, no one in particular. Alex —remember her?— used to read a lot of girly magazines and always had me help her out. Then I started to do some of the treatments on my own for fun. Nothing wrong with looking nice. Oooh, look at that! Your acne should be gone by tomorrow." He holds up a mirror.

"Really?" Takao gasps upon looking in the mirror. "My skin is fantastic!" 

"It is! Even when eating so much greasy food. You're lucky!" 

"Oh my god, you guys can't be serious." Kagami shakes his head as he polishes off yet another slice.

"Hah! So says the one who watches princess movies every other day. You really should let me wax those brows! They're unnatural!"

"Oh no, you don't!" Kagami covers them defensively. "I've seen you and Alex! Masochist! Both of you!" 

"Well he has to be to date a guy as hung as Murasakibara, am I right?" Takao wiggles his brows and Himuro chokes hard on the iced tea he'd just began to sip.

Kagami bursts into laughter while Furihata winces in sympathy at the thought. "Oh, gosh."

Himuro denies it as he catches his breath. "No, no, no, no, no. We are **not** like that."

"You're _straight_?" Takao sounds shocked.

"I should hurt you. Bi. And I don't date friends, it's a bad idea. Plus I'm not great with relationships." He admits as he begins his own treatments.

"Huh? Really?" Furihata says. "But you're so kind and charming." 

"Well...." Kagami hums. 

"Taiga," Himuro threatens him with a jab of the nail file. "Thank you, sweet pea, but he isn't wrong," Himuro says as he removes the scrub and coats Furihata's lips with something thick. "Blot. Now you can lick them all you want, and they won't get dry!" Himuro says triumphant as he puts away his homemade chapstick.

"Mmm, they taste like a Kit-Kat!"

"Yep. My own invention."

"Jeez, you're lucky that giant hasn't eaten you," Kagami notes as he sips his Coke.

Himuro grins. "Probably. But he has no interest in things like that."  

"Not at all?"

"Not at all."

"You don't sound disappointed, though." Takao munches with Kagami. 

"Eh, I never expected much from him. I like him a little, but I know better. Our relationship would be a disaster."

 

("They are actually a good match." Midorima interjects.

"Shhh!" The others shush him.)

 

"Well, you won't know until you try, right? Go for it!"

"So says the one too shy to make his own confession."

Kagami goes as red as his hair and throws a pillow, but not very hard. "That's different!"

"No! It's the same! Besides, you know that it won't work."

"And neither would mine!"

"On the plus side, he's used to dealing with idiots it seems."

"Hey! Say that again! I dare ya." Kagami waves around his fist for emphasis.

The two argue a bit, but it's in good fun.

"Can we at least have a hint?" Takao implores. 

"No way!" Kagami shakes his head. "And you shush!" He covers Himuro's mouth a little too slowly and the word "blue" escapes. 

"Hmmm. Blue?" Takao muses aloud. 

"Maybe his eyes? Or uniform?" Furihata offers. "Does he play basketball?" 

Himuro nods before he is smothered with a pillow. 

"Any good?" Asks Takao.

Himuro sends a thumbs up. "He's great." Or something similar comes out muffled.

"Oh my god, Tatsuya!" Kagami might actually kill him with this pillow. 

Takao seems to have a revelation, and his mouth falls open. "Oh.My.God.YOU WANT TO SCREW THE GANGURO?!" Takao looks nothing short of scandalized. 

Himuro cackles behind his death-pillow and Furihata outdoes Kagami's blush. 

Kagami stops smothering Himuro to gag. "THAT IS **DISGUSTING**! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

 

("Oi, what was that?!" Aomine shouts and has to be held back by Murasakibara. "I'll kill him!")

 

"And you," He turns to accuse Himuro. "How would you like it if I told everyone who you liked?!"

His poker face is flawless once more, but Kagami knows that he's embarrassed. "It's not as if it'll happen anyway. Go ahead."

Kagami huffs. "Forget it. Anyone want some ice cream?"

"Chunky Monkey?" Himuro asks hopefully. He didn't realize he would be giving up most of his favorite flavors when he moved here.

"Sorry, I've only got Cherry Garcia. But they sell that one over here."

"They don't even have Phish Food here." Himuro sighs.

"Nope. It's sad. But why do you want those two? Aren't those apart of your 'just-dumped-or-got-dumped' collection?"

"Yes. But I'm single and watching cheesy movies which is what usually happens while I cry into a pint of frozen heart-attack. Now I have to ship some here to stock up." 

"What kind of person uses Amazon to ship ice cream?" Kagami asks incredulously and hands poor Furihata a cupful before they demolish the pint.

"The same kind who uses it to import beef jerky?" Himuro sasses back. "Which is illegal by the way."

"Hey, good jerky is hard to find here!"

"Oh, come on! You guys know who I like!" Takao whines, feeling ignored.

"Duh! It's obvious!" Kagami scoffs. 

"You're not very subtle. Kind of stalkerish, actually," Himuro adds.

"So mean!" Takao sighs and accepts his own mug.

"I'm pretty sure stalking is also illegal," Kagami sticks his tongue out at Himuro. He turns back to Takao. "Why do you want to date Midorima? I mean he's kinda hot, but he's a pompous ass."

"With a nice piece of _ass_ on him. Ooh!" Takao gropes the air with a grunt. "Plus he's athletic and smart! _And_ he's gonna be a doctor! With glasses! You have to admit you'd tap that."

The pair concedes they would while Furihata, when prompted, expresses that he is, in fact, asexual (but Midorima is quite handsome).

(Midorima gestures triumphantly.) 

"Really? So you don't like anyone?"

"No one in particular. I mean, there are some really attractive people out there, but I don't really get crushes. And I don't really get...you know..." He twiddles his thumbs. 

"Horny?" Takao offers and Furihata nods. 

"I mean, I guess a relationship would be nice since I'm usually pretty lonely and I might want kids in the future, but I don't know. I'm not really that special, so I can't see someone falling in love with me." He shrugs sadly.

The other three frown. 

"Hey, don't say that," Kagami says as he swallows his last spoonful. "It's like Thumbelina. I know there's someone somewhere that would love being with you! You just gotta find them! Or let them find you." 

"Mmmhmm," Himuro hums around his spoon. "Just be patient. Love tends to come around when least expected, after all."

"Heh, maybe."

"You'll see." Takao encourages. "Now back to you two."

"Ugh, just watch the movie! We've missed like half of it."

"Like you haven't seen this a million times. I'll give you a hint about mine then; he plays on Taiga's team. And _no_ , it is not Taiga. Incest is not 'wincest' as you say." 

Takao grins cheekily at that. "You two aren't even related."

"Same concept."

Kagami refuses to surrender anything. 

-

A few hours later, when they're all ready to go to bed (save for Takao who already passed out), Furihata is able to worm the answers out of them rather cleverly. He finds Kagami's basketball magazines and points to a picture in one volume and one in another. 

"You got me, sweet pea. It's a secret, though, got it?" Himuro winks playfully.

"Y-yeah. Like seriously, don't tell anyone." Adds Kagami.

Furihata giggles. "Of course not. I understand how mortifying that would be. They're both really cool and kind, though."

"'Kind?'" Kagami chuckles. "I guess he is, in his own way." He yawns. "Man, I'm beat. But Cinderella is always a must." 

"That one was very interesting, it was live action." Furihata stands and stretches. "Are you sure it's okay for me to take your bed?"

"Yep, go for it," Kagami pulls off the cushions to unfold the sofa bed he and Himuro would be crashing on momentarily. "It was awesome, right? We have to watch more movies next week!" 

"That sounds good. Good night."

"Good night. Remember, try to sleep on your back." Himuro smiles and puts in his earplugs.

"He's 16! How is he going to get wrinkles?!" Kagami rolls his eyes and spreads out. "I am going to snore extra loud just for you. Jerk."

"Love you too, bro," Himuro mutters and conks out. 

Furihata falls asleep with a smile on his face, unaware of the plans the miraculous bunch was stirring up. 

("No, Ryouta. You _may not_ pluck Tatsuya's eyelashes one by one as revenge.")

-

Furihata's good mood carries into the next day when he returns home. "I'm home!" He calls. No answer. It looks like his mom had gone out. Oh well, Kagami had fed him well.

He had better get a little homework done just in case Riko decides to hold practice today. He shuffles into his room with a drink in tow. 

"Welcome home, Kouki." 

Furi freezes. He knew that voice anywhere. The voice that had given him nightmares after hearing it for the first time. If he weren't trembling so hard, he'd ask why the other was in his house, on his bed.

And if he were suicidal, he'd tell him to get out of it.

"I have a proposition for you."

Furihata is on the verge of sinking to his knees, trembling even more intense.

Akashi tisks. "I admit, your fear is charming. It shows that you know your place. But, It won't do if my lover is intimidated so easily." He unfolds his legs and begins to approach. "I haven't even given you a reason to fear me, yet."

And then Furihata feels his blood pressure drop lower than his confidence levels, and he is dragged down by his leaden limbs. 

"Oh," Akashi shakes his head. It's a good thing he has such quick reflexes. "And people say that I'm small." He easily lifts Furihata and lays him on the bed. They would have a few things to discuss when he wakes up.

"Sleep tight, my princess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/thethumbelina/soon.htm
> 
> Poor Furi xD I suck at writing Akashi so please forgive me!
> 
> Hope you enjoy! No idea where this is headed at all.


	2. But-!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akashi is a man of many talents.

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone sprint so fast, especially after having fainted. I commend you for that. However, you have made me run in clothes that aren't suited to that." Akashi replies as he gestures to his slightly wrinkled clothing. "And that is unacceptable. You'll be learning how to launder my things earlier than expected it seems." 

_Laundry? Shouldn't he have people for that?! Okay. Okay. Calm down, Kouki!_

He'd be shouting any moment now, he was sure of it! They were in public now; surely someone would help! Furihata blames the adrenaline, but he somehow finds the nerve to question Akashi.

"What are you doing here?" His eyes dart around. Oh no, he was virtually cornered! 

"As I said before you decided to go into a swoon, I have a proposition." He goes and seats himself on the edge of a fountain and waits for Furihata to join him.

"I know that," Furihata freezes a bit, hoping that didn't sound rude. "I-I mean, I heard you. B-but I couldn't h-have heard it correctly."

"Oh, why do you say that?"

"I thought I heard you say something weird." He looks down and bites his lips.

Akashi grasps his chin and turns his head. Furihata shivers although he isn't sure if it's due to the chill of Akashi's lukewarm fingers or the shock of being touched by them.

"No one has ever used the word 'weird' to describe anything concerning me. You are interesting, aren't you?"

"W-what? Me? N-no. Not at all. I'm as ordinary as they come." He denies. 

"And that's interesting for me. You don't seem as...refined as my other potential partners. I like that, working with a diamond in the rough." He lowers his hand. "Here is my proposition; I will become your lover until such time that it becomes unnecessary or an inconvenience for either of us and in exchange, you will tell me who it is that Kagami admires so much." 

Furihata is sure that he isn't awake and pinches his arm. Well, crap. "Uhh, I..."

Akashi was the closest to a prince he could ever hope for but...what about the kindness? The lovingness? Living happily ever after? He wasn't sure we wanted someone as flawless (and sociopathic) as Akashi. 

Akashi gives him a face that shows his genuine confusion. No one had ever even _considered_ turning him down. 

"Thank you for your offer, but I must regretfully decline." Furihata bows and takes off double time. Somehow he winds up at Kagami's. 

"Yo," Kagami grins as he opens the door. "Did you forget something?" 

Furihata huffs a little and clings to the front of Kagami's shirt and babbles nonsense. 

"Whoa! Calm down!" He gently grabs the other's shoulders and navigates him to the couch. "Okay, so what happened? Furi....?"

"I went...home...and it was...just me," He gasps out between breaths.

"Okay?"

"But when I went to my room and he was there!" 

"Whoa! Someone broke into your house? Why didn't you call the police? Ow," He whips his head around. "And what is that annoying light?" Kagami looks outside.

Furihata turns to said light as well only to make more unintelligible babble. "Mah-bah-Aka-ahh!" He gestures wildly at the open window. 

Sure enough, there was a limo with Akashi's blank face pressed up to its window. 

"What the hell?!" Kagami shouts, only to have Akashi's driver continue to flash the sun in their faces with a mirror. 

"Will you stop that?" He shouts out the window before drawing the blinds. "So that's why you didn't call the police. Maybe you should have gone to Kuroko first." He pulls out his phone and dials. 

"Do you have any idea why he broke into your house? Actually, don't answer that, I can't understand what you're saying," Kagami waves for Furi to be quiet while simultaneously swearing at his phone. "Dammit, Kuroko! And you harp on me for not picking up?" 

Furihata finally gathers himself enough to retrieve the magazine from last night. He finds the page and gestures back and forth from it to Kagami. 

"He knows. I-I don't know how but he does!" 

"What does my crush have to do with any of this?"

"He wants to know!"

"You just said that he knows!"

"Knows that we hang out every weekend!" Furihata covers his mouth. "Sorry." He didn't mean to yell.

"It's fine. I know Akashi is crazy, but why does he care?"

"I don't know."

"So wait a minute, he broke into your house to bully my crush's name out of you?"

"I guess..."

Furihata swears he can see the muscles in Kagami's face twitching. "Freaking rich psychopath! Not enough that he tried to stab me now, he's a stalker...." Kagami mutters all the way to the door as he throws off his slippers and marches down the stairs. 

"Good afternoon, Taiga." 

"Crazy," He nods.

"Pardon?"

"Kasamatsu Yukio. I don't know why you want to know, but it's him. Now leave before you give the landlady a heart attack!" 

Akashi gives a smile, and Kagami can't help being wary of the glint in his eye. "We wouldn't want that. Thank you for the information," Akashi gestures to his driver and the limo begins to move before Kagami jogs up to it once more.

"And one more thing; don't harass my teammates!" 

Akashi continues to look forward, eyes only sliding over briefly to Kagami. "Understood." He says calmly, and they drive away.

Kagami returns to his apartment. "I'm back."

"Um, your phone rang. It's Kuroko, so I picked up." 

"Thanks. Yo. Way to pick up when I need you to! What? Oh yeah, we were, huh? Did you buy my burgers already? What do you mean it's too expensive? Hey, hold on," He covers the speaker. "Do you want to come eat at Maji Burger with us?"

Furihata can't help smiling a bit. "Thanks but I really need to go do my homework."

"Next time then." He offers a fist to Furihata, and the latter cautiously bumps it. "He should leave you alone now."

Furihata sighs in relief. "Thank you!"

"No problem. I gotta get out of here, but I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" 

"Y-yeah. See you!" Furihata can't help but sigh a bit in relief. He opts to take the train, just now realizing her had run nearly half an hour straight in his panic. It would still be a while before dinner, though. So he pops into the convenience store, only to find all of his favorite things were sold out, even the drinks. 

"Oh, well. I guess I didn't need those anyway." He sighs a little sadly as he makes his way home.

"I'm home!" 

"Welcome back, but, Kouki?"

"Yeah, mom?"

"What are all of these snacks doing here?"

"Huh?" He enters the kitchen and feels his jaw drop. The table and the little counter space they have are entirely filled with his favorite snacks. He opens the fridge and finds his favorite drinks too. Taped to the milk coffee he had been planning to buy was a little note. 

"Kouki...?" 

He quickly shoves it into his pocket and thinks of how to explain this to his mother. 

-

"Are you sure?" Kuroko asks.

"He pulled up to my apartment in a limo. I'm pretty sure." Kagami says as he moves on to his next burger.

"Did Furihata-kun mention anything else?"

"Nope. He was too freaked out. But I can't blame him." 

They drop the subject for the night. 

"Later."

"Good night, Kagami-kun." Kuroko nods politely and proceeds to mail Akashi. 

_Why?_

Kuroko waits a few moments for the preview to pop up on his screen. _You're beginning to question me more than I would like. And the answer is simple._

Kuroko merely shakes his head as he reads the rest. _How hard is it to say that you have a crush yourself?_

- 

Kouki reads over the note once more. His only thought being, "I think I have a boyfriend."

_I noticed the bottles and wrappers in your recycling bin. Enjoy them. Akashi Seijuuro._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry this is so short but I'll make a longer one after I update my other fics. 
> 
> Thanks for reading guys :)


	3. Divide and Conquer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All according to keikaku.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Sneaks in. Quietly places chapter down and shuffles back out.-

Coming back from the weekend is surreal.

The Miracles aren't gossips. Really. But with their newly acquired knowledge, it's hard to go back to normal.

Never has Kuroko been so grateful that Aomine doesn't go to their school. One comment from the tanned teen and it would have been over with; he and Kagami would have brawled and been suspended before the day was through! Hell, before first period probably.

Hindsight is 20/20, but Kuroko had had an inkling. Just a little one. Kagami rarely takes an interest in anything not involving food or basketball, but Kasamatsu is related to the latter in a peripheral way that Kuroko supposes he can understand. At first, he'd suspected it was admiration. Kasamatsu's good. Very good, in fact. One of those top-tier players only second to the Miracle Generation. And thus it would make sense to study the man in order to keep a leg up; read his interviews, watch him play, talk to him when paths happened to cross. Nothing too unusual. Kuroko searches his memories, trying to pin down the moment when things had changed. 

Kagami had begun to stare in a different way. Less intense and set on picking apart every weakness. This new stare was soft as if Kagami was dazed, fascinated by the man's every move. Then there was that time they'd run into Kise when the blonde was out on business in their area. He'd complained (nothing unusual there) about his math class. Despite how smart he is, Kise was barely afloat with a "C." He lacks motivation it would seem. 

"Now Kasamatsu-senpai is making me study with him every afternoon." Kise slumps against the table, groaning into his arms.

"He smart?" Kagami asks around a burger. (Kuroko chides him for it.)

"Very," Kise nods enthusiastically. "It's kind of amazing actually." He notes as he swirls around his drink with his straw. "He plays guitar too." 

"Kagami-kun?"

"Y-yeah? What?"

"You're dripping."

"Ack! Dammit." Kagami swore as he scrubbed at the stain with a napkin. 

Maybe it had happened as early as their first match, feelings pushed aside in favors of victory. 

Regardless, Kuroko decides to do something about it. No, Kagami's feelings aren't hindering the team, and Kuroko has nothing to gain from what he's about to do. Well, maybe a little. Honestly, he just wants to see how Kagami does in a relationship. And with that, he finds himself texting Kise on the walk home. 

( _AH! KUROKOCCHI~! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE TEXTING ME~(*≧∇≦*) )_

Kuroko is sure he'll live to regret this. 

* * *

Speaking of regret, Midorima is beginning to second guess himself, and that is not only frustrating but unacceptable. He never goes back on his word. Besides, it's a lucky day for Cancer. 

"What? You won't?" Midorima looks down, his facial expression irritatingly unreadable. 

"I-" 

Takao felt dizzy. Or maybe not quite dizzy but certainly off kilter, feeling the need to grip the railing behind him even more. 

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think this was an anime or something." Takao's nervous laughter bubbles forth against his will. "Better not take this joke too far, though, Shin-chan." Except if there's one thing he knows about his Shin-chan, it's that he definitely is lacking in the sense of humor. 

"It's not a joke," Midorima replies instantly, voice steady. "I'll ask once more. Will you go out with me?" 

Takao's smile falters. "Ah," While his huffy underclassman has gotten better at expressing himself and has even come to care about their team, this is too much. Forget his hawk eye, Midorima's glare is the one to look out for. Except it isn't a glare. Underneath the apathy, Takao swears there's _something_.

"Okay." Takao nods. "Okay. Yeah. Let's go out!"  

Midorima lets out the smallest sigh. He'd been worried there for a second. What nonsense. Of course, Takao wouldn't turn _him_ down. _I've practically won this silly little competition, Akashi._

* * *

 Summer days are lazy. Sloths are lazy. Procrastinating students are lazy. Murasakibara Atsushi is on a whole different level. So to see him get worked up is like witnessing a sudden eclipse. He could tell some of his classmates were staring. It's uncomfortable to be without Muro-chin. 

"Aka-chin," His hand is shaking, a few chips escaping the crumpled bag and tumbling to the floor. It is taking all he has to keep from crushing his phone as well.  

While Kuroko and Kise have announced their intentions to get Kagami and Kasamatsu together, it would seem Akashi has decided to be a bit of an overachiever, opting to secure Himuro's relationship as well for the hell of it. 

_You should be thanking me. I thought you said he repulsed you._

___

"My bad. My bad." 

Himuro is surprised; rarely does he run into anyone who's taller than he is.

"Ah, I'm sorry it's all my-" He pauses, feeling his jaw slacken ever so slightly. "Fault," Himuro finishes the hasty apology, suddenly breathless. 

"Ah. I know you," Kiyoshi offers an easy smile although it isn't completely free of mischief. "Hello again."

"Hello again," Himuro repeats the polite greeting, standing up straight, the pair of shoes he'd been going for temporarily forgotten. 

"You know, most people would be more upset over a box landing on their head."

"I'm sure they would." And if he thought for a second the man had done it on purpose, Himuro probably would be upset. 

"Ah, that signature cool-headed attitude. You're not as fun to tease as some. Speaking of which, where is your friend?" 

"Too lazy to come out this far."

Himuro actually hadn't asked this time. Lately he'd become sick of fighting the giant on every little subject. If he were interested, he'd come. Besides, hauling ass to central Tokyo for a sudden one-day-in-store-only 75% off sale at Himuro's favorite store is not something his hulking man-child of a companion is itching to do. And actually, it was kind of nice not having to babysit for a day. No fussing at Murasakibara to dispose of his trash properly or giving him reminders to not put his feet up on the train and "Please, try to smile a bit you're making people anxious." 

"Ah." Kiyoshi hums as if he understands completely. And ever friendly, Kiyoshi makes an effort to chat up Himuro. He's not even doing it out of politeness. He's just that friendly. 

Himuro finds the conversation to be pleasant enough. Shallow enough. " _Crazy how suddenly this sale happened, right?"_ and " _Yeah, good enough to make me come out on a school night."_  and mutual gripping over how hard it was to find larger clothes in Japan, let alone stylish and durable ones like these. 

"Wow." Himuro murmurs as he and Kiyoshi compare hands side by side. "I never really noticed just how big your hands were." In the heat of the game, observations like that tend to fall by the wayside. 

"They've served me well." 

Himuro is about to say goodbye when Kiyoshi suggests a coffee. Iced for him of course. 

"I don't want to miss my flight." True, flying down here seems utterly ridiculous on the surface but with the money he was saving on clothes versus importing them himself not to mention a sudden school holiday to celebrate a saint he was hardly familiar with, it was too good to pass up. Not to mention as an only child, his parents do have the resources to spoil him occasionally like this. (He would have just shopped online if possible.) 

And yet somehow he found himself talked into it. He's cutting it a bit close, barely making it to the terminal in time. Yet, Himuro is smiling. In addition to two (new) suitcases full of (new) clothes, Himuro was also going back with ten little digits.

It isn't until he's collapsing on his bed, making a mental note to ship some of his old things home, that Himuro notices he has a shirt that he doesn't quite remember picking out. 

_TH: Yo. I think some of our things got mixed up. Read 22:07_

_TK: Ah._

_TK: I thought I was missing something_

_TK: D: < _

_TK: Boo!_

Himuro finds himself chuckling aloud at the rapid fire messages. 

_TK: Oh well. Consider them a gift._

_TH: I'll be sure to return the favor._

_TK: Oh really? I look forward to that :o)_

So does Himuro. 

* * *

 

Maybe it's all the sugar from his recently acquired snacks, but Furihata is finding it impossible to get to sleep. He'd counted sheep and read his textbooks and even had some warm milk. Nothing. 

"A boyfriend." He whispers aloud to no one in particular. 

Would he even know the first thing to do with one of those? 

But still, it's a nice thought. Although the man himself is a bitter dose of reality, Seijurou Akashi is also a nice thought. 

Furihata drifts off wondering if Akashi is a lonely king. 

_It must be hard. Maybe that's why he's so cold._

The Akashi in his dreams is warm. He makes it easy to get lost in his golden gaze. 

* * *

This is mere child's play —no cause for celebration— but Akashi can't help but be a touch pleased. His plan had gone off without a hitch, naturally. While others would accuse him of enjoying "playing god" a bit too much, he sees it merely as taking precautions. Poor Shintaro will be so upset when Akashi gets his love confession first. He suspects the man will come in dead last what with himself and the tag team of Kuroko and Kise to beat. 

It's a shame the others failed to see the fun of this game. 

Aomine had made it very clear that he wasn't participating in any of this "gay shit," going so far as to hint of the fact that it might be immoral. 

_"You don't just go an' mess with people like that," Aomine says as he flicks some earwax off of his pinky. "It'll bite you in the ass sooner or later."_

"Ha." 

The sound echoes off the walls of Akashi's immaculate bedroom. 

Such consequences don't exist for people like him. 

It's people like him that give people like Kouki Furihata's life meaning. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't offer enough apologies for how long this has taken. I have no excuse and I am sorry. Big thank you to the original readers who are still around, especially the sweet commenters than encouraged me to keep going. I can't guarantee regularity but these stories won't be abandoned, that I can promise.


	4. Like a Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagami is the smoothest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -whistles nonchalantly as she clicks the upload button and rolls away, leaving behind a note that reads: "You're welcome in advance for the image of Kise in drag."-
> 
> Note: Previous chapters have been edited for grammar, readability, and style. The tags were also updated and the rating upped though this story is not set to become explicit. Enjoy~

"Kise-kun, you're smothering me again." 

"Ah, sorry, sorry!" 

"Are you sure they won't notice us?" Kuroko asks, leaning to the side a bit to peek out of their booth. Maji Burger is always busy, but one could always find an empty spot near the window under the air-con, especially when the weather's colder. Of course, Kise wouldn't want to hide there. He prefers to be hidden in plain sight.

"I'm an expert at hiding, Kurokocchi~, a regular master of disguise!" It comes with being a superstar. 

Even with the thick lenses shading his eyes, Kise can tell Kuroko is unimpressed. 

"We might as well get something too while we're waiting?" He suggests sheepishly. 

"Well, those limited edition ice cream waffles do look pretty tasty," Kuroko concedes, and that's good enough to make Kise go overboard, ordering the largest one with a variety of scoops and toppings when Kuroko just wanted a plain waffle with vanilla ice cream.

"That's too boring!" Kise pouts. "So.... You excited?"

"For what?"

"'For what?' For senpai and Kagamicchi to meet of course!"

"Ah, maybe a bit. It'll be interesting."

Kise sighs, visibly deflating.

 "C'mon, can't you at least pretend you're a bit more excited? Kagamicchi could be walking out of here with a new boyfriend!" 

"True, or he may not," Kuroko takes a long sip of his soda and Kise finds himself envying that straw on some level. "We'll have to wait and see. Are you sure you won't get in trouble for this?"

"Ah, well, I'll deal with that when it comes." That is to say that Kise hasn't fully considered the consequences of his actions yet but the chance to have a date with Kuroko—even if it is just to spy— is too good to pass up. Besides, his head is used to being kicked—abuse that he has shown Kasamatsu that he could put an end to at any time— so what's there to fear? At most, he can expect a lecture and maybe a headache from the screaming of his fans as he gets sweaty running extra laps. Worth it.

"If you're sure. Ah," Kuroko reaches into his pocket, feeling his phone vibrate. "He'll be here soon."

"Is he ever on time for anything?" Kise can't help but laugh, and the comment gets an almost chuckle out of Kuroko. 

"Games." 

* * *

 

Yukio Kasamatsu is standing outside, leaning against a brick pillar when the text arrives. Even with the weather cooling down from a blistering summer, he doesn't want to be out here, standing like an idiot.

_Kise Ryouta: Running late. Go ahead and start without me~. I'll pay you back when I get there~☆ ～('▽^人)_

"If you put as much time into your studying as you did these dumb emojis, we wouldn't even be here!" _Seriously? Who offers to treat someone and then doesn't even show up on time?_ So much for a simple study dinner. 

And why this Maji Burger? Sure, they'd come here once or twice when convenient, but it was out of the way for a regular school day. Kise must have had work somewhere around here. 

"Whatever," Kasamatsu grumbles as he shoves his phone into his bag. "You're paying for my pass too." He mutters to the absent underclassman. Kasamatsu makes his way inside, getting into the long line. "Ugh. Really?"

Now normally, despite his constant raging towards Kise, Kasamatsu is a very patient man. But exam time is right around the corner, and he can't seem to make his teammates want to start practicing seriously yet (well, save for one  _very enthusiastic_ member), making for a very frustrated captain. Who cares if it's still the off-season? They need to be running at full-speed all year round. No buts! 

"I shouldn't even be eating this," He sighs as he makes his way to the specified table, even if he is sure to burn all of these calories off. At least chicken is a little healthier. ...Mmm. That's fresh. Good fries, too. 

_Kasamatsu Yukio: If ur not here in 30 i'm leaving._ Kasamatsu's thumb taps away while his other hand grabs a fry and dips it in mayo.

"Yo, mind if I sit?" A man's voice.

"Yeah, go ahead." 

Kasamatsu doesn't bother looking up, hooking his tray with a finger and sliding it closer. _Snooze you lose, stupid Kise!_ He hears the chair scrape against the linoleum floor and finally looks up. 

"Oh, hey." 

 

 

* * *

"What the shit, Kuroko?" Kagami sighs. He had looked everywhere, and Kuroko is nowhere to be found despite his "I'm here" text from 5 minutes ago. And Kagami is damn good at finding that punk by now! He thought he saw him, but it was just some short old dude and his... - _girlfriend?_  -who could stand to tone down -her?- make-up. Or at least get a better wig. Christ. And now someone was sitting at his favorite table! 

Kagami considers leaving but he does like the atmosphere, and he might want dessert, so he strides over, trying to sound somewhat polite.  _Ain't that the uniform for Kise's school?_ He wonders, and he asks to take a seat. 

"Yeah, go ahead." 

Kagami is all too happy to drop into the chair, extra-large burgers making his mouth water already. Bless this 2-for-1 promo shit. He's ready to chow down, yet to pay the other teen a bit of mind, until he hears the greeting. Kagami groans internally. He doesn't want to play nice right now. He lowers the burger just enough to mutter an arbitrary "'Sup?" when he notices who he's just sat with.

"Shit." 

* * *

 

"Oh boy!" Kise whispers, shaking Kuroko a bit. They can't be too loud as they're sitting directly across from the pair. 

Kuroko grumbles about not appreciating being shoved,  _dear_ , but he's a bit excited as well. He'd never seen such a dumb expression on Kagami's face, and that's saying something!

* * *

 

"Hey," Kasamatsu repeats. "You grabin' a bite to eat too?"

"No! I mean, yeah! Um, I meant, what are you doin' here?"

Kasamatsu lets out a dry laugh. "What, I'm not welcome in this neck a' the woods?" 

"It's not that, senpai! It is great to see you! I was just wondering why you were here."

Kasamatsu raises an eyebrow at the sudden attempt at politeness. He may be older but Kagami isn't one for formalities plus, Seirin has whipped their asses a few times by this point, so they're pretty even. 

"Kise invited me out. You okay, man?"

"Y-yeah! I'm great." 

"If you say so?" Kasamatsu replies, unsure as he watches Kagami scarf down a burger with incredible gusto. 

Kagami for his part wants to sink into the floor and not resurface until Kasamatsu is far, far away. He doesn't know what's wrong with him. He really doesn't. Because as many cheesy movies as he's marathoned, he can never understand how people turn into blabbering idiots around the object of their desire. At least until now, anyway. But damn! Kasamatsu is **handsome** , even when confused. But why's he staring? Wait... This isn't... a burger...

Kagami had been chewing wrappers while Kasamatsu looked on in awe. 

_"Fuck."_

Kise and Kuroko share that sentiment; this might be harder than they thought.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello, hello! -fumbles for an excuse- Happy Early White Day?
> 
> Um, yeah, still no excuse. Grad school is eating me now, but I suddenly have tons more motivation to update stuff :D Let's see how long that lasts. Ahahahahahaha! -continues maniacal laughter into the night-


End file.
